Longhand · words
Say the new price in the first two lines.
A price increase message is read once, closely, by someone looking for a reason to be annoyed. The ones that cause trouble are rarely the ones with the biggest number. They are the ones that make the reader hunt for it.
“due to rising costs” has been the reason for every price rise since the invention of the price.
The draft usually starts like this. “Dear Valued Customer, we hope this message finds you well. As you are aware, the last few years have brought unprecedented challenges, and we at the company have always strived to absorb rising costs to serve you better.” Three sentences in, the reader has learned nothing except that bad news is coming, and they have started bracing for something worse than it is.
The tiffin service in Satellite, the gym, the CA who files your returns, the software you pay for every year. All of them raise prices eventually, and the customer knows it. What they mind is being handled.
The order that works
Four things, in this order, before anything else:
- What is changing. The plan, the product, the service, named the way the customer names it.
- The old price and the new one. Both numbers, side by side. “Your monthly plan goes from ₹2,400 to ₹2,700.”
- From when. A date, not “shortly” or “from the next cycle”.
- Why, in one or two sentences that are true.
Then what the customer can do about it, and who to ask. That is the whole message. Most good ones fit on a phone screen without scrolling.
The customer will find the number either way. Let them find it in your first line, not your fourth paragraph.
Give the reason once, and make it real
“Due to rising costs” is a reason in the same way “due to circumstances” is a reason. If your rent went up, or the price of the milk you buy, or you now pay a second person to answer the phone, say that. A specific reason sounds like a business explaining itself. A vague one sounds like a business hoping nobody asks.
And if the honest reason is that you were undercharging, you can say that too. “We haven't changed our prices since 2022, and our costs have.” Customers respect a business that has done the arithmetic.
Say it once. A paragraph of reasons reads as a defence, and a defence invites an argument.
Don't apologise for a paragraph
One “we know this isn't welcome news” is decent. Three paragraphs of regret make the reader feel they ought to be upset, and make the increase sound bigger than it is. The tone to aim for is the one you would use telling a regular customer at the counter: plain, a little sorry, not grovelling. Our piece on copy that sounds nervous covers the signs, and a price increase message shows all of them.
Also leave out the thank you for “your continued patronage” at the end. It reads as an invoice for loyalty.
Give notice, and something to do with it
The message lands better when the customer has time and a choice. A few things that help, if they are true for your business:
- Notice. A month is decent for a monthly service. For an annual contract, tell them well before the renewal invoice.
- A way to lock the old price. “Renew before 1 December and pay this year's rate for one more year.” This turns the message into an offer.
- A cheaper option, if one exists. “If the new price doesn't work, the basic plan stays at ₹1,800.”
- A person to talk to. A name and a mobile number.
Don't invent any of these for the message. A loyalty discount that only exists in the email will be asked for on the phone.
Where and how to send it
Send it to each customer, by the channel they actually read. For most small Indian businesses that is WhatsApp, which means the first line is all that shows in the notification. Make that line the news: “From 1 December, your tiffin plan will cost ₹2,700 a month.” Our notes on WhatsApp broadcasts apply, with one change: this is a message to send once, never as a reminder.
If it goes by email, the subject line does the same job. “Your plan price from 1 December” gets opened. “An important update from us” gets opened with dread. More on that in subject lines that don't lie.
Your biggest customers deserve a phone call before the message arrives. Nobody likes learning about their own price from a broadcast.
Do this with your draft
Read only the first two lines. If they don't contain the old price, the new one and the date, move them up. Count the apologies and keep one. Replace “rising costs” with the actual cost. Then send it to the most loyal customer you have, before anyone else, and ask them how it reads.
Price going up, and nobody wants to write the message?
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